Overcoming Negative Thoughts and Feelings

Last time we talked about overcoming obsessions. Once we overcome or try to overcome your obsessions for people, we face an important issue that is negative thinking. We may overcome obsessions or any other mental or emotional issue but the problem is not fully solved until and unless we change our thinking pattern which plays a key role.

Negative thinking creates a large many problems for us destroying many of our relationships and creating losses in every day life in all aspects.

How do we change the way we think and adapt a better thinking style that can help us in our relationships, at our work and in accomplishing all our tasks??

From now on, we will be working on changing our negative thinking.
Which is essential for a productive life.

So,

First, we must realize that this is NOT something that happens within days. You CANNOT change your yearsss long thinking styles in just a few days or weeks. It requires patience and consistency with a lot of time and efforts. Therefore don’t be harsh on your self. Take your time and just try. You might fall a thousand times, get up again smiling and be sure, you CAN do it… YES YOU CAN DO IT. Believe in yourself and stick to it. Right?

Okay let’s see next…what can we do?

Realize that it’s perfectly okay to have bad days or negative thoughts. You are a human, aren’t you? Then you can and you would suffer. You will have to face tough times. Your family might not support you. You may lose. Your boss may be a rude one. Your friends might leave you. Government might impose taxes and so on. You might face a thousand challenges at the same time and that will make you tired. It may result in you thinking negative. It’s perfectly and completely okay. Do not stress over it. Some negative thoughts may even compel you in being productive. The only thing we need to learn is _controlling our thoughts_. My thoughts should not control me rather I should be the one in control.

Let us understand the reason why we have negative thoughts. If you are anxious or worried about something, it is possible that you’ll have negative thoughts. Also, criticism and self beating are one of the major reasons of negative feelings and thoughts. If you are harsh on yourself, you will definitely give your mind the opportunity to be negative. Furthermore, regret and guilt about anything also make you prone to thinking negatively. Similarly, everyday life problems or anything worrying you may be the reason for you being negative.
A lot of negative self talk and self criticism give us low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

Pushing away negative feelings and pretending that they don’t exist won’t help you, instead it will make matters worse. The more you try to push them and argue with them, the more they will come. Therefore, it is important to simply acknowledge them and work on channeling them.
We have to put our efforts in correct direction so that we obtain fruitful results. Wrong efforts at wrong places will only worsen our condition.

The question arises; if I am not supposed to argue or just push away my negative thoughts, what am I supposed to do then???
A few simple steps that require some effort and result in a really sweet fruit 🙂

The first thing we can do is to recognize our thinking pattern and once we understand our negativity, step back from it. Tell yourself these are just thoughts. My mind is just saying them. This is NOT the reality. There is no need to take them seriously. Don’t believe your thoughts. The problem is; we take them dead serious and act accordingly. This needs to be changed. Understand this is just what is going on in my mind and when I understand this truth, I won’t be taking it seriously unless it is actually useful for me.

Always start your day with anything positive because how your day started matters a lot. Always smile when you wake up. This is sometimes difficult remembering. It’s okay. Put a reminder on your phone or paste some post it note or something that reminds you to be happy and smile when you wake up. Write some positive quotes and put them on your bed side table or anything that gives you motivation and is uplifting. If nothing, just remember all those people who couldn’t wake up today and who would never now. You woke up, you are fine and you have a beautiful shining day ahead of you, fulllll of opportunities. It might have some pleasant surprises for you. It might bring you success and love. Why shouldn’t you be eager for a new start and why is it difficult to get out of bed? Don’t you want to unfold the presents it has for you? Don’t you want to have new opportunities and challenges that will teach you so many new things and give you some priceless experience??

When having negative thoughts, think all these thoughts and all that I am going through, will this matter after some time? Will this matter in next 2 -3 weeks? Next month? 3 years later? When I die? No? If no, then are these moments, that I have now, worth wasting? I have a very short life and I have my dreams, my job, my career, my responsibilities, my family, my friends and soooo much more…why should I waste away my time thinking like this, wasting my time and life and the precious few moments that I won’t ever get again??

Start spending your time in today…in present …in NOW…in what I have at this moment. Feel the surroundings feel nature feel the people around you, the blessings around you. Breathe. Feel your body…isn’t it working so accurately so actively? Your heart…isn’t it beating with a rhythm? Your brain…what a super computer is fit inside you! Such a miracle, isn’t it? Your eyes…they can see the wonders around you. This is so beautiful. This is amazing and awesome. Are you feeling it?? Just look around and feel, really feel and you’ll have lesser negative thoughts and happiness will grow inside you.

Start challenging your negative thoughts. Evaluate them. Suppose, someone else is having these thoughts. If you get to know about it, how would you respond? What would you think? What suggestions will you be giving to them? Apply the same logic to yourself too.

If you are having a lot of negative thoughts, give yourself 5 minutes. Let them come and don’t do or say anything. 5 minutes over, come back to present. Excuse yourself, take a break and ignore them. You gave them full 5 minutes of your very important time. Now is the time for work and present. Get back. It’s enough.

Name your thoughts. We always have same thoughts. It is a cycle; similar thoughts come and go. When you notice them, name them. Afterwards, when you start having those thoughts, smile and say, yesss now comes the anxiety bell. The anxiety bell wastes my time and I am not free. I can’t spare my time… sorryyyy. This way let it come and go. There is no need to be kind and welcoming to these guests. Let them know that they are unwanted and never welcome. But, be kind to your own self.

Replace the negativity in your surroundings. Find out the things that make you think that way. Think of the ways of improving them or you’ll need to cut off somethings. It’s fine cut them off for greater good. Avoid social media. There is no need to check the feed every hour. Avoid it. It has too much negativity that affects you. Trust me, you are better off without it.

Question your thoughts. Are they worth thinking? What benefits do they give me? Why thinking this way is important? Is this thought true? Does this help me in any way? Does it make me productive? What is the truth? How can I think differently? What is important? Should I really be taking this thought seriously? What should I be doing in this situation? What would someone else do at this time? Question yourself. Think about what you are thinking. Check and confirm the reality.

If you bring positivity in someone’s life, it will affect and help you too. Be kind and generous. Help others out. Listen to them. Be available for them. Make an effort to help them improve their life and make it better.

Work on your personality too. Focus on your strengths. Find out your qualities. Work on them. Improve your shortcomings. Make yourself healthy and strong. Maintain a smiling happy face. Be polite and pleasant. Try being productive. Strive with your strengths. Keep yourself busy.

Last and most important, practice gratitude. Be thankful for allll the things which you have and you take for granted. Make a list of your blessings. Be thankful every day. You are living a life soooo many people are wishing for. You have got the life so easily for which soooo many are striving for. You have got so many things just count them. Haven’t you got eyes that see? Your world is full of colors it isn’t black and white or just black… it has colors. Haven’t you got ears that hear? You can hear so many voices so many sounds. Imagine not being able to hear…silence complete silence around forever…would you be able to breathe? No, you won’t be able to. This silence would be killing. Don’t you have a place to live in? Don’t you have freedom to live? Don’t you have oxygen to breathe? And you are still being negative! You need to review yourself 🙂
You might be lacking a few things. So what! You have so many others. If you don’t have something that others have, you have something that others don’t have. So it’s okay. You are equal again.
And even if you aren’t, we all have to die in the end, haven’t we? Then, nothing matters.
You have a very short life time. Don’t waste it. Spend it carefully and consciously. Make full use of every moment. There is something for you… something special every day, in every event and every occasion. You just need to find it out and no one else can do this for you because it’s your special gift. How can someone else get what’s yours!

You are a very special unique person, created with love. Someone always loves you no matter what. You have wonders inside you. Unlock them. The world needs YOU and what you are hiding inside. Show everyone the beautiful and a miracle YOU.

Keep practicing. Don’t lose hope. You’ll be getting the results very soon. Believe in yourself because you are capable…you really are. I believe in you.

A free of negativity YOU emerging sooon 🙂 🌺

Prayers and Love ❣
💐

Overcoming Obsessions in Lost Loving Relations

You are depress, fed up of life, tired and numb. You don’t find any purpose in life. You feel helpless and just beyond tired. No one understands you and loneliness is killing you. You are upset and feel like hope has lost its meaning and you are a totally hopeless case…then this series is definitely for YOU
YESSSS YOU…You are cared about! 💫

Starting with obsessions.

You love someone with all your heart, beyond everything. You are afraid of losing your loved ones. Your biggest fear is losing someone you love utmost and then…what happens? Suddenly your biggest fears are confirmed…you lose those you LOVE beyond anything and everything… you are devastated, destroyed, frustrated beyond limits. You feel so helpless. Why did he/she have to leave me??? Why everyone leaves me?? Why???!

Come onnnnn, my dear!
You don’t need to cry on someone who has left you. It was written. Let it gooooo.

But How?? How do we do this???!

So here I am to help you 🙂

We need to let go…let go…let it go
Don’t think over it again and again. Yes memories will come to you, haunting you, they will disturb you. Admit it and move forward.
Tell yourself again and again I love myself, I am worthy of love, I am special, I am enough for myself because Allah is with me, Allah loves me
I am not a hopeless caseNo I am not because Allah has hope in me and if He has hope in me that means there is still hope left. YES there is!
And because I am enough for myself since I love myself and since Allah is with me, I don’t need…really don’t need… anyone else for my support
Tell yourself again and again and believe it yourself. You need to believe this. This is important but even if you don’t believe it, it’s okay. Just keep on telling it to yourself constantly and continuously.
Write love letters for yourself. Do it. We don’t always need to tell others that we love them and how important they are. Sometimes it’s You…your heart your body your soul…who need to listen to these words. Sometimes you are the one thirsty for those love words and those hearts and flowers that you keep on showering on others. Give them to yourself. Write I love youme to yourself. Send hearts to yourself. Do this atleast 20 times a day and more if you think you need more and if you are reminded again and again of the love and support you just lost. Writing is very important, this will surely help you heal.
Speak to yourself. Be gentle and kind. Tell yourself dear me! You are unique and special and you don’t need others, absolutely no one. You are okay being alone because you have you.
Talk positive. Talk to others, anyone about anything at all.
Focus on the moment. Repeat again, in your mind, I am happy, I am fine and no, I don’t need others; I have lived on my own before and I can manage it now too.
Don’t miss any of your everyday tasks just because you are not feeling upto. Do everything as you did before.
Smile and be kind and caring of others even if you feel it to be a difficult task.
Do some extra work. Think of other activities or some welfare tasks that you can do and put your efforts in them.
When you look in the mirror, smile at yourself and appreciate yourself. Tell yourself you are strong.
The moment you lose someone, all your fears vanish and suddenly you become brave because now nothing can damage you. You have lost a part of you , what else is left? So be brave. Be confident and positive. You can do it. Yes, YOU can do it…the same you who so depended on someone else…you can discover the wonders inside YOU.
Don’t talk over it. Sometimes talking does relax you but mostly it is painful. Go for writing. Writing is healing. It heals you and makes you feel better. So try writing a diary and no, do not write about the person you lost. Write about yourself. Be loving and be very positive. Positive writing is important in this case or you won’t be able to heal.
Feel . Look at the sky above you. Look at nature. Look at flowers around you. Stop and look at the beauties that surround you. Smell the roses. It will relax you.
Do not read anything negative at this time. Don’t go for sad poetry or quotes or anything like that. Don’t write anything negative. Just don’t.
Be happy. Even if you aren’t, just lie and tell yourself I am happy.
Try not consulting any therapists or psychiatrists at this time. You really don’t need them. You need your inner self at this time. You need you just you and the help of Allah to heal you.
Listen to something that gives you hope . Listen to the recitation of Quran in any voice you love. Listen to Surah Al Talaq again and again. It will definitely uplift you. If you don’t understand what it says, go for a translation and tafsir. Listen to some nasheed that is about hope. I will strongly recommend kbhi mayus mut hona, an urdu nasheed.
Talk to Allah Taa’la. Even if your relation with Him isn’t strong, still try talking to or sharing with Him. If you can’t, then simply make dua. Try doing it because it will really help you. Say a sentence or two to Him.
Even with all these things, memories will come to you. This is perfectly okay. Tell yourself silently if fate has written us to be together, we will be, at the end of the day. If no, it’s still okay because I can live on my own and I don’t need others. After this, consciously think of something else.
You can seek help but from someone you are close to and you are comfortable with and that too not in this aspect, in something else. That something may be work or it may be simply a check or help in being positive. But be very careful, you don’t have to become dependent on them. Consult Google, read articles. It will help but do not go to Social Media. That will be destructive.

You cannot forget your love but you can simply work on improving yourself and channeling what hurt you. This is what you have to do.

This is what we are doing…working on ourselves. This will help you, relax you, calm you down and this is what will bring love your way.

If you are reading this and missing the love you lost, just remember somewhere in this world I understand and love you…I really love you with all my heart.
Be happy…love coming your way….

Love,❣
💐

سیجعل اللہ بعد عسر یسرا
ان مع العسر یسرا

PS: Same steps are to be followed in case of toxic relationships or other obsessions.

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