Overcoming Obsessions in Lost Loving Relations

You are depress, fed up of life, tired and numb. You don’t find any purpose in life. You feel helpless and just beyond tired. No one understands you and loneliness is killing you. You are upset and feel like hope has lost its meaning and you are a totally hopeless case…then this series is definitely for YOU
YESSSS YOU…You are cared about! 💫

Starting with obsessions.

You love someone with all your heart, beyond everything. You are afraid of losing your loved ones. Your biggest fear is losing someone you love utmost and then…what happens? Suddenly your biggest fears are confirmed…you lose those you LOVE beyond anything and everything… you are devastated, destroyed, frustrated beyond limits. You feel so helpless. Why did he/she have to leave me??? Why everyone leaves me?? Why???!

Come onnnnn, my dear!
You don’t need to cry on someone who has left you. It was written. Let it gooooo.

But How?? How do we do this???!

So here I am to help you 🙂

We need to let go…let go…let it go
Don’t think over it again and again. Yes memories will come to you, haunting you, they will disturb you. Admit it and move forward.
Tell yourself again and again I love myself, I am worthy of love, I am special, I am enough for myself because Allah is with me, Allah loves me
I am not a hopeless caseNo I am not because Allah has hope in me and if He has hope in me that means there is still hope left. YES there is!
And because I am enough for myself since I love myself and since Allah is with me, I don’t need…really don’t need… anyone else for my support
Tell yourself again and again and believe it yourself. You need to believe this. This is important but even if you don’t believe it, it’s okay. Just keep on telling it to yourself constantly and continuously.
Write love letters for yourself. Do it. We don’t always need to tell others that we love them and how important they are. Sometimes it’s You…your heart your body your soul…who need to listen to these words. Sometimes you are the one thirsty for those love words and those hearts and flowers that you keep on showering on others. Give them to yourself. Write I love youme to yourself. Send hearts to yourself. Do this atleast 20 times a day and more if you think you need more and if you are reminded again and again of the love and support you just lost. Writing is very important, this will surely help you heal.
Speak to yourself. Be gentle and kind. Tell yourself dear me! You are unique and special and you don’t need others, absolutely no one. You are okay being alone because you have you.
Talk positive. Talk to others, anyone about anything at all.
Focus on the moment. Repeat again, in your mind, I am happy, I am fine and no, I don’t need others; I have lived on my own before and I can manage it now too.
Don’t miss any of your everyday tasks just because you are not feeling upto. Do everything as you did before.
Smile and be kind and caring of others even if you feel it to be a difficult task.
Do some extra work. Think of other activities or some welfare tasks that you can do and put your efforts in them.
When you look in the mirror, smile at yourself and appreciate yourself. Tell yourself you are strong.
The moment you lose someone, all your fears vanish and suddenly you become brave because now nothing can damage you. You have lost a part of you , what else is left? So be brave. Be confident and positive. You can do it. Yes, YOU can do it…the same you who so depended on someone else…you can discover the wonders inside YOU.
Don’t talk over it. Sometimes talking does relax you but mostly it is painful. Go for writing. Writing is healing. It heals you and makes you feel better. So try writing a diary and no, do not write about the person you lost. Write about yourself. Be loving and be very positive. Positive writing is important in this case or you won’t be able to heal.
Feel . Look at the sky above you. Look at nature. Look at flowers around you. Stop and look at the beauties that surround you. Smell the roses. It will relax you.
Do not read anything negative at this time. Don’t go for sad poetry or quotes or anything like that. Don’t write anything negative. Just don’t.
Be happy. Even if you aren’t, just lie and tell yourself I am happy.
Try not consulting any therapists or psychiatrists at this time. You really don’t need them. You need your inner self at this time. You need you just you and the help of Allah to heal you.
Listen to something that gives you hope . Listen to the recitation of Quran in any voice you love. Listen to Surah Al Talaq again and again. It will definitely uplift you. If you don’t understand what it says, go for a translation and tafsir. Listen to some nasheed that is about hope. I will strongly recommend kbhi mayus mut hona, an urdu nasheed.
Talk to Allah Taa’la. Even if your relation with Him isn’t strong, still try talking to or sharing with Him. If you can’t, then simply make dua. Try doing it because it will really help you. Say a sentence or two to Him.
Even with all these things, memories will come to you. This is perfectly okay. Tell yourself silently if fate has written us to be together, we will be, at the end of the day. If no, it’s still okay because I can live on my own and I don’t need others. After this, consciously think of something else.
You can seek help but from someone you are close to and you are comfortable with and that too not in this aspect, in something else. That something may be work or it may be simply a check or help in being positive. But be very careful, you don’t have to become dependent on them. Consult Google, read articles. It will help but do not go to Social Media. That will be destructive.

You cannot forget your love but you can simply work on improving yourself and channeling what hurt you. This is what you have to do.

This is what we are doing…working on ourselves. This will help you, relax you, calm you down and this is what will bring love your way.

If you are reading this and missing the love you lost, just remember somewhere in this world I understand and love you…I really love you with all my heart.
Be happy…love coming your way….


سیجعل اللہ بعد عسر یسرا
ان مع العسر یسرا

PS: Same steps are to be followed in case of toxic relationships or other obsessions.

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